That is the question that many interfaith families have asked for years in December. This phenomenon is known as the December Dilemma. It is one that I, as well as many half Jewish, half Christian families, face.
In my family, it’s complicated. My mom had her Christmas shopping all done about the time that December had just become the new month on the calendar. But I, on the other hand, didn’t even want to get our Christmas tree until after Hanukkah started.
It’s a constant balancing act for power between the two holidays. The thing is, this struggle shouldn’t be as big as it is when Hanukkah isn’t a super big holiday in Judaism. The more important holidays in Judaism are Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which usually take place in September, along with Passover, which happens around Easter.
But in my house, we don’t celebrate those really important ones. My dad had a ‘falling out’ with his rabbi at his temple when he married my Catholic mother, so we aren’t super connected to Judaism. So my brother, sister and I take what we can. In my opinion, I love celebrating Hanukkah. However, my mom loves to celebrate Christmas. It’s definitely a balancing act. It’s not that my siblings and I hate Christmas. I simply love the act of lighting the candles and saying the prayers, along with the food, and spending time with my cousin. More importantly, during Hanukkah I get more in touch with the other part of my culture.
My family does “Christmas-y” things as well. We listen to Christmas music sometimes, and we decorate our tree. Celebrating with most of my family is something that I love to do, especially when I get to bake cookies and cook. Also, who doesn’t like to wrap presents with peppermint hot chocolate afterwards?
Just this weekend, on the seventeenth, we celebrated an early Christmas with one side of the family, before going out to Mamaleh’s in Cambridge to celebrate Hanukkah with the other side of the family. Even though it’s tough, and even though it can cause some stress, it’s important. It may not be easy to balance the two sides, but when they do reach an equilibrium, it’s super nice. For example, I get to light the candles in my great-grandmother’s menorah, then sit down on the couch with some hot chocolate and look at the Christmas tree, covered in sparkling lights.